I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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