if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
