its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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