You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
