I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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