gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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