My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
