There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
