I'm drive I can fine osifer
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
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