dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
