i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
