4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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