Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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