And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
