kristin has been a bad kristin
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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