Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
