Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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