I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
