There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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