omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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