i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
