I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
