i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
