I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
