I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
