Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
