don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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