Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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