WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
