Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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