His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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