Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
