I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
