Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
you win again, gameday.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
