My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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