A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
