Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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