so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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