I molested 6 butterflies tonight
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm like, not good at living.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
