i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
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His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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