some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
