I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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