I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Randomize
