Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
