I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
