My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
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