I faked an abortion last night.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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