i permit you to call me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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