In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
