what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i came on her dog
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
