So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
