nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
