This girl is more easily done than said...
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
