girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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