Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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