some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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