Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
