Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
