So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize