i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
