a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
