If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize