i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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