jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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